Crave

I crave acceptance. I crave the sugar coated truth. I crave a relationship but at the same time not. I crave.

People say that the people in your life; either that comes or goes or stays, will change you, inspire you, make a difference. Even if they leave, they're gonna leave you with a lesson that you will never forget . You'll learn from the bad experiences and cherish the good memories. But why do I feel like I've learnt nothing and traumatised by the whole thing. Everybody in my life, inclusive of family, makes me crave for a person who does not have that one bad trait ( or traits ) that they have. Try accumulating all of those bad traits from everyone and imagine what I do not want.

I can never find him/her. I can never trust anyone. Not family. Not friends. Not myself. Trust is a complicated concept. You lose it, you bend it, you get it, you love it, you believe in it. But sometimes along the pathway that is your life, you'll find yourself doubting everyone around you, and even yourself. You lose faith in yourself. You'll think you'll never find anyone that can share this life with you, because it's true. Everyone will leave you at some point. But whether they'll come back is the question.

Yeah, we will eventually drift away. What with family and career and LIFE getting in the way. But why can't we be boomerangs; we'll leave and we'll come back. Although not the same exact boomerang but at the core, we still are. Some people may change drastically but why can't we accept the change and embrace it. Unless they change into a douchebag, that's a different story (but behind a douchebag lies a story. true story.)

Accepting reality ? Not really my thing. But when I do, it'll be a heavy emotional baggage that'll I'll lumber around, bumping everyone that comes in contact with me. So beware, world.