An Open Letter To Boys

Dear boys,

We, as girls, need not conform to your stupid mold of what a girl should be. We do not need to stop being 'over perasan' and think that your stupid kind ways is just a 'friendship'. We are incapable of doing so. (Okay, some girls can do it but whatever.)

The point is YOU need to change to. You can't just be really nice to a girl and not expect the girl to think you like her. BITCH. You guys need to sedar that WE do not have a radar that tells us whether you are interested or not.

*sigh*

All of the crap articles nowadays on the internet or in magazines about "How To Know If A Guy Likes You" are all BOGUS CRAP. I don't know whether this is only applicable only to Malaysian boys but whatever the 'signs' that says they 'like' you, all em' boys do it. EXAMPLE ;

"He gets closer to you when he speaks and moves his body closer to you when he speaks."
BOYS - "Yeah well, it's because girls can't hear us. I needs to get closer to her ear and speak. It doesn't mean I likes her or shit because it's a normal thing to do. It's the most logical thing to do."

Yeah it's normal but why can't the guy just speak louder. Assholic jerk, stop giving me all the wrong signs.

Why does this need to be so difficult. Why don't guys tell me they like me ? Why why why ? Not even as a joke ? Am I that unattractive and plain ? Maybe I am plain I guess......

What should I do exactly. GAWD. My whole life is like a feels like a Sims game, where I have to choose what actions to do and hope it'll be the best. The difference when other people play The Sims, they try to do well for themselves; build a larger house and try not to die etc. etc. Whereas when I play The Sims my objective is to find love.

So in my mind I'm constantly making decisions on how this would impact what guys think of me. Certain guys not all of them. (I think .....?)

I don't know what I'm talking about. I reread it and it's pretty gibberish. Will I be forever alone ? I'm starting to wonder if this feeling of self-pity is as addictive as falling in love. I do sometimes feel good when I feel bad about myself. (THE MINDFUCKINESS I KNOW) But yeah, sometimes I think that being single is way better than being in a relationship;less messy. That kinda scares me a little.

What if that feeling nibbles until, at the end I'm nothing but just crumbles of loneliness. The more I feel like getting into a relationship and wanting a boyfriend (and successfully failing at it) , the more I feel like it's just better off not having someone that's not permanent and doesn't have a return policy nor a warranty.

I don't know what I want.

I've always wanted a relationship thats based on friendship. A friend turned boyfriend type thing. But in the recent months, I'll have to rethink that because being friends with the guy tells you that the guy doesn't really wanna be with you in a romantic relationship. They just want to be friends.

Thus, guys need to say straight up that they like me to make it work. Which will never happen in a million years so I guess I'll be single for the rest of my life.

Maybe what I want in a guy is too much.

I hate it when a guy knows you like him and you're not particularly his type and/or beautiful , he'll just blatantly ignores you and suddenly you don't exist. FUCK IT, OKAY. I can live without your sorry ass. I hope I can fucking become beautiful in the fucking future and fucking show you what you let go. Fucktards.

Maybe I am ugly.