Long time eh, friend.

I should say hello, after quite some time I have decided to write.

What if I never find my Knight in shining armour ? Or my Prince Charming ?
I don't know. It has been bothering me lately. This particular question swimming in my mind, waiting for the right moment when I am idle to pounce on my blank thoughts. To make me depressed for no reason, to make me feel vulnerable and more insignificant to the world.

Everyone had that someone. Even if that someone let you go when you needed him the most, or you had that first romance that was nice but had to end it because of life, or you have that someone that makes you laugh and does not take everything so seriously and even if that someone was just a very best friend.

I wish I had a boy. Even if it was just a best friend. But alas, I never even had that. I don't know. I can't remember that time when I just had a friend and no complicated, mushy feelings floated around in my heart.

Maybe I'm saddened by the question because I never had someone that was charming like me before. Never have these kind of guys become infatuated with me before. I thought a guy liked me once not too long ago, but apparently it was just for one day and I had miscalculated.

From then on, I have never thought that a guys kind affections and endearing actions was some kind of a sign that he liked me. For me, it was easier (and less embarassing) to decode their friendly cryptic code as well .. coming from just a friend. There never will be awkward confessions and embarassing after-maths.

I have become someone who doesn't know if I'm flirting, or being an attention whore, or being normal or whatever. Are the guys in the 21st century naturally flirty ? I don't know.

Guys aim high. Handsome guys aim high. Ugly guys aim high. Average guys aim high. How does a girl with average-ness survive in this raging jungle of hormones ? We don't. Even if the beautiful girl rejects, denies and objects; the guys will surely persevere on and try to win their hearts. Make them believe that all they ever want to do is be with them and never leave. Make her butterflies go aflutter with their charmingly devilish smile. I wish I have that.

We'll just hope one day that our thorns will fall and new petals will bloom. That this ugly (or average) duckling will turn into an elegant white swan. Or a black swan it doesn't matter.
--

I've seen him cross the park twice in a row now. Why does he still make me feel like I'm floating in Cloud nine, makes my heart beat faster and induce a vomiting effect n me with just his actions ? It's not fair. Just by actions alone he makes me feel that. And I will never get that.

Everytime a bunch of boys throws insults at me, I don't mind it. Their words are worthless; splat down to the ground like measly bird droppings. But when ever you open your mouth to hurtle insults at me, they always sting and stab me. Why ?

Maybe it's the way you look at me. Or they way you say it with such disgust laced in your voice. Or the way you sometimes say these insults in a language I don't understand, thus making it harder for me to counter-attack. You make me feel worthless and belittle me. It's just you, it's just you.

That's why I just stay clear of you most of the time. I stare hard at the ground when I pass you; trying to not look at your face. Why do you have this power over me ? You shoud stop with your cool swagger. I know it's already embedded in you but try to control it you know ..?

I suggest you move to the cute side. Wait, I think that would make me fall in .... I won't say I'm in love with you. In my point of view, love is when the feeling is mutual; shared. Love is when I know you; if we're best friends. This is definitely not love , so what am I falling into ..? Am I falling in a crush ? Am I falling in a like ? Or am I just falling into a deep, dark whole with a depth that would make me feel like I'm falling forever .... alone ?

I pity the fools

Since it is nearly the end of 2009 and as we grow closer to 2012 (haha) I catched up on a few viral videos of this past year because I'm not the viral video watcher type of person. And some of my favorites were the Cadbury Eyebrows and Darth Vader Dnaces Thriller and T Mobile Dance and definitely the Flash Mob Dance Hammertime. That was the dopest thing ever man, like fo' sho'.

I feel like I wanna just crash on  my bed but I don't know why I'm not. Tired gila bapak ada party tadi. Birthday party 14 yearold jangan risau hahhah. Dah hafal lagu Pretty Fly dan I'll Make A Man Out Of You which are pretty epic I might say. hmm There's nothing to bitch about today so I'll just leave you with that then.

//

Oh, there is something to bitch about !
I hate people that hates you for no fucking reason at all. All this people are saiko. Who in their right mind would not know what they're doing or why they do something. Exception to this situation though,

An open fridge. You. A person comes. Sees you.
"Why are you standing there?"
"I don't know. I can't remember why"
"Hmm dasscool."
Person walks away. You. Closes fridge door.


This is a legitimate sitch (kim possible reference) in which at least 1 out of 4 people have experience before. You wanted to take something from the fridge but the second you open the fridge door BLANK. nada, zipp. And then you just close the fridge door. Because the thing that you wanted to take obviously isn't that important coz you didn't even remember what it is anyway.
But if you hate a person (or dislike, whatever floats your boat) without no fucking reason at all, you're just wrong in so many ways dude. I hate people who say something but doesn't know why. Let's say you hate MJ and I ask you why and you say "I don't know." because a) you're a pussy to admit what you actually hate about him or b) you just don't know. a) is believable but I hate you nonetheless but b) is just stoopid. You have to know ONE thing that you dislike about this MJ guy. The way he speaks or the way he spanks em' hard or whatever. Just one and I'm satisfied.
Don't go fucken around and say that you hate me and yet you don't know why. PUSSY


Also today I didn't find the pair of school shoes that I wanted (Jazz) and I had to buy some other shoes. Kebabiancibaimofofaaaaakk kenapa la Jazz tak dijual di mana2 seperti B-First atau North Star or Wira. -___-"

Fuck Speedy

I went there to find Dyesebel the series DVD and the guy ada nerve tak nak layan me. Sori beb, you've barked on the wrong tree. I buat muka menacing and just stood there eventhough he said "DVD box set ada belah sana dik." I don't fucken care how much your majikan pay you and i don't care if you get a miniscule gaji. I am the friggin customer, I am always right asshole.
Nak mintak tolong sikit je pon tak boleh ke? Dah la ko sorang je yang in sight. Bukan ke sepatutnye at least ada dua orang yang on duty. Oh apa, yang lagi sorang tu merayau? Oh, kesian nye dia kena ditch :( Tengok muka aku ni, nampak macam aku kisah sangat ke. Learn from MPH people. Huh, probably MPH pays more. Probably MPH mintak diploma kot. Suck my dick bitches (metaphor)

//

I am more excited for Avatar : The Last Airbender (the Avatar is silent btw) than Avatar coz well I'm a nerd like that. So sue me. Also, orang yang main dalam Slumdog Millionaire tu ada so no worries naik lorries. ha ha

I also don't recommend you to go watch The Treasure Hunter (yes, walaupun ada Jay Chou) sebab theres no ending. Theres literally no ending. I'm not super pissed about it but I'm fairly pissed. I was imagining Jay Chou finally kissing the girl at the end but there was some 'we are from different worlds, we cannot possibly be together' crapzoid.
HELLO tak pernah dengar Avatar ke? The girl was a friggin  8 foot blue alien-giant thing and the guy was a puny little worthless (but very,very fiiine) human and still they made the relationship happen. My advice to you Jay Chou is to just go to the Eywa tree and make love with yer grrl in front of it.

Okay, I am starting to make references to this movie. snap. out. of. it. It's the same with TikTok-Ke$ha. So annoying yet I know all the words to it by heart, and no, it's not because it was catchy. -__-" And the dollar sign in her name is also double the annoying. But I do give her street cred for sounding like Katy Perry in Right Round. Kudos Ke$ha.

One more thing, Legion is the one of the most stupidest movies of all time. The plotline is about God trying to destroy the human race or bring the apocalypse or wtv because we are too much, he can't friggin bear with us anymore. So instead of redha dengan keputusan-Nya , an angel decides to 'save' us by helping us defeat God's army of angels who are sent here to destroy us worthless beings.

*pauses*

how the fuck can you defy God ?! He friggin created us dammit, he can do whatever he wants with us dammit. He's GOD for goodness sakes. He's like the alpha dog, numero uno, the MAN.
LEGION EPIC FAIL.



//


Would really love to call my daughters Nimueh and Magdalena.


 Nimueh - An evil and powerful enchantress who wrecks havoc in King Arthur's life, Merlin's life and basically everyones life. She refuses to think she is evil. Always thinking that what she did was fate. If you ever think that, you are most likely to be wrong most of the time. Since she is so powerful, she can look like anything or whomever she wants to. Which is wicked awesome. Pardon the pun.

Magdalena - A pyschic hippie chick that excels in school yet maintaining her unnatarul ability to see ghosts and a hot geekish boyfriend. Is organized and has short,black hair. Almost always looks gorgeous and well put. Has a cool grandmother who's the same as her. Keeps everyone around her safe. Plays by the rules and often never breaks them. Is on curfew.



Probably my first child would be called Magdalena because of obvious reasons. Example me. ha ha Fail I know homies, i know. And my second would be Nimueh. Coz theres like a gajellion different cool nicknames you can get out of Nimueh. And her stands for bitch so, yeah. I wouldn't even have to call her bitch when she sneaks out of the house to go to a party or pegi elope dengan boyfie dia, I'll just call her by her name. ha ha ha ha I am a great mother-to-be aren't I?
My future daughters would hate me for their names. Heh mana aku nak kisah I'm their mother. How can they defy me ?! How dare they ?! ha ha ha





kthxbai.

" Maybe I'm never gonna be the prince. I'll always be the frog."

-Ashton Kutcher

[There should be a movie based on this quote. We've all seen movie where the average/fugly girl gets the guy but have we actually seen a movie where the guy gets the girl but not in a Napoleon Dynamite type of movie? I think not. I want a serious romcom about this.]

Blue Moon totally pwned New Moon

I am craving Shaiddan's lasagna.  Why can't I manifest it now? Rasa je nak jalan ke Giant and buy all the stuff and buat sendiri, tapi since ada Secret Recipe kat situ baik beli je lasagna dia. haha. Tengah baca Blue Moon, baru je habis Evermore (courtesy of Shaiddan) and I'm liking it.

Here's my 4 top reasons why Alyson Noel's The Immortal Series pwns Stephenie Meyer's The Twilight Saga :

1.   I would rather have Damen Auguste as my boyfriend rather than Edward Cullen now.
Why? Here's why. Damen makes me feel warm, tingly and comfortable when he's near me and when he touches me. He's patient and mysterious and flirty and filthy rich. He is unbearably gorgeous, the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He teaches me how to use my powers and not leave me. He saves me when an evil bitch who stalks him for 600 years wants to eliminate the competition (me) and not just let some werewolve save me instead.
Edward however, eventhough he is The Most Beautiful Man On Earth would make me feel that there is nothing else in the world but him and my life should revolve around him. I will not have an ambition to be anything, except his one true love. He goes away to protect me (?) and really really wants to suck my blood but refrains himself (??). When we make love, we smash our beds headboard and he makes me pregnant with a half human, half vampire child in which, when I want to give birth to it, it tries to rip me apart.

2.   Its better being an immortal than being a vampire.
If you become a vampire you will sparkle in the sunlight which makes it harder for me to go out in the day because I live in Malaysia, it's sunny all year-round. I have to drink blood. Yes tis true that I can drink animal blood but according to Edward it tastes like Tofu and I do not like tofu.
If you become an immortal however, you can manifest things (meaning you can make things appear out of thin air only using your mind) you can go to Summerland which is this incredible place where you can manifest anything (even Orlando Bloom) , you will have premonition (meaning you can go and bet on something and win money or if you think someone might be dying you can save them, eitherway) , you can hear people's thoughts and auras (which is pretty migraine-y but if you train yourself, it can be very useful) and you will have a boyfriend that will teach you everything you need to know and will not abandon you.

3.   When my mum reads Eclipse dia tertidur, like twice. When a person reads Evermore you will read until the light of dawn.

4. Blue Moon ada Naruto reference (chakra anyone?) which , in itself totally firejutsu-ed New Moon.

I am freaking pissed because Astro Prima edited out the scene where Fredo kissed Dyesebel and didn't put in subtitles after the kiss that they cut out. BITCHES. And the fact that I am uber-confused right now sebab Lucia's memory is in a balang and she is Fredo's mother and supposedly Dyesebel's mother, so does that mean that Dyesebel and Fredo are siblings? Are they doing incest? GAH I need to buy the DVD and watch the whole damn thing from the start.
Can you believe that Disney is no longer distributing Beauty & The Beast DVD. They've discontinued it until it is re-released. Such kebabian. I pegi Pelita nak makan and I think I saw Miriam. Looks like her. Hmm, tapi entahla.

I watched Zombieland and I'll probably give it a solid 7/10. My mum kata New Moon lagi best, well I'd probably say so but I just can't bear the lovey dovey parts. And the lovey dovey parts take like 2/3 of the movie. Go figure. Avatar best. Eventhough I'm suppose to boycott it (because some people just decided to be douchebags and say yang Percy Jackson akan flop and Avatar akan well, tak flop. A-holes) but I can't help myself. The hero is hot and the Avatar blue people are naked so .. HAHA. The visual effects are spectacular but I'd pick to watch Zombieland again. Or Forrest Gump, either way.

When I got back home, I went to IMDB and search Sam Worthington and found out he plays Perseues in 'Clash of The Titans' and I screamed and shouted "WHY GOD ARE YOU SO CRUEL TO ME?!"

//

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW CIBAI. I should probably read Sejarah or something. PMR tahun depan ni, haih. One of my father's friend punye wife cakap "PMR tahun depan eh? Belajar la dari sekarang." pastu fake smiley face. Aku tahu la anak ko dapat 5A UPSR, bermegah-megah cakap masa makan. Ewah2, nak cakap macam tu kat aku. Ingat aku tak dapat 5A ke masa dulu. Memang la aku tak pegi asrama kan, anak ko nak pegi. I tak pegi asrama bukannya bermaksud I bodoh. Tolong sikit eh,  orang yang pegi asrama tu bukannya semua baik ok? My business is none of your beeswax.

P.S YAY My sister dah berhenti main Crash. Now I can watch Talentime.

Ta.

An Ode to the Bookshop Lady

You bitch,

You self-hatred bitch,

You let her crumble with your stare,

Eventhough everyone around you glared,

You ask her to pick it out herself,

Where as you don't even know which shelf,

You bitch,

You annoying little bitch,

You are not nice and annoying to the max,

You should just take a step back and relax,

Don't fucking marah the poor girl,

Until she feels the need to hurl,

It's just 10 cents, apa nak kisah,

Meh aku bayar, apa la salah.

You bitch,

You worthless stupid bitch,

Its true the list says you have to buy it,

But it doesn't mean we have to buy the extra english lit,

We don't need the Peka file because we have it already,

We are no stupid students who gets F's easily,

We know what we want and we know what we need,

You are an arrogant bitch oh , yes indeed.

You bitch,

You should just give the shop a ditch,

Stay out of my life,

Stay out of my world,

I'll make a petition,

To put you out of your mission,

Of destroying confidences and self-esteem,

Gather all the students and make a ruthless team,

Eventhough we can't do anything,

We still fucking hate you dahling,

If the teacher says "No need that book" I'll just heave a sigh,

Then I'll say "Whatafaaakk cibai, you go dai"

- Diyanah Rozli

Don't forget to be awesome

DFTBA - Hank Green

Four Years of Foreplay - I Set My Friends on Fire (feat. SMOSH)

Duet With Charlie & Charlie - Charlie Mcdonell

Song About Acne - Charlie Mcdonnell

Blink (A Doctor Who Inspired Song) - Charlie Mcdonnell

Taylor The Latte Boy - Kristin Chenoweth

There's also a response to this song btw( :

These are some of the songs that ensue hilarity. And yang ada meaning. Heh. Hope you guys have a brilliant night because my night was SHEEEEEET. Mum said Tak boleh pergi rumah Shaiddan hari monday nih sebab nak pergi genting. And Tuesday. And Wednesday sebab Dad punye birthday. So it'll be next Khamis. Benda nih dah la aku postponed kan sejak 2 minggu yang lalu you nak suruh I telefon Shaiddan and cakap yang I have to postpone kan benda nih lagi. Tahu tak betapa malu nya nuka nih nak call Shaiddan lagi sekali nak cakap yang Monday minggu depan PON TAK BOLEH. This thing sepatutnya hari nih, tak boleh sebab nak kena hantar kereta pegi servis la, apekebenda la. Dah semalam kena call Shaiddan and cakap hari nih cancel move to Monday next week. Shaiddan on the phone semalam even said , "I knew you would say that." I don't want to have a reputation of cancelling things but I do now sebab kena cancel semua benda. Tak boleh pergi yang Sunway Reunion tu pon orang dah marah, nih kan one of my best friends whom I will blow-off for the fourth time. Harap2 la dia tak marah and say something like , "Sebenarnye you nak buat benda ni ke tak? Kalau tak nak cakap je la tak nak."

I've never been out malam2. I've never smoked not even shisha. I've never went clubbing and drinking. I've never set foot on a konsert before. I've gotten Straight A's. I've never run-away from home. I bukan nya pergi dengan kawan2 regularly pon. I TAK ADA BOYFRIEND JANGAN RISAU OKOK TAK ADA PON ORANG YANG SUKA KAT I, SEMUA ORANG YANG I SUKA SEMUA NYE LARI, AVOID ME :( I know kalau I marah habis2, Mum tak boleh handle nanti bersedih. Or kalau you nampak nih dah tak payah pergi dengan kawan2 , tak payah pergi dengan family keluar belajar je kat rumah , online ke tah kebenda.

WHATAAFAAAKKKKK

//

My fucken Internet sangat kebabian sejak dumenjak ini. Rasa macam nak lempang je. Or is it my lame-ass computer yang TERSANGAT ANNOYING GLE NAK MATIIIII. Bila orang tunjuk je gambar laptop baru terus je assume nak beli laptop baru. Gle malas nak layan sebenarnye tapi what to do, you're related to me and far more superior kan. -__-" Dengan perangai adik "Nak ni, Nak tu" day in, day out pon ada hati nak belikan dia laptop at the tender age of 7. Jangan nak cakap I dah ada laptop kenapa adik tak boleh ada, well here's your reasons :

1) I dah 14 TAHUN. Thats half of what she is right now.

2) I have gotten almost always entirely straight A's my whole entire 14 years of my life and dia pernah even dapat fail. And she's only standard one.

3) Oh sebab dia tak dapat proper birthday present ye? And if you want to use the very lame excuse of "Misha, kan dapat DSLR untuk birthday hari tu. Tak payah la nak complain." If you accumulate the UNproper birthday present yang dia dapat and ALL those other things yang dia mintak each week (yang dia dapat) It's probably more than my FREAKING DSLR.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister tapi getting her a laptop really? Is it necessary? Kalau dia annoying nak guna laptop orang lain memanjang cakap je la "Nak balik computer tu, nak pakai." It's your comp anyways kan, apa salah nye. And besides your her MOTHER. You have the power of asking her to give the laptop back , dengan cara sukarela atau paksaan.

//

Argh.

PEACE OUT.